twovests

twovests wrote

Reply to cw transphobia by flabberghaster

I think it's that bathrooms are a place that are still gender-segregated, and where people feel vulnerable.

The patriarchy is a real thing that makes all of society asymmetrical among women and men, but focusing on the bathrooms is (1) simpler than all of that, and (2) something you can do without acknowledging the sexism built into society.

It's one place where you regularly make yourself vulnerable and to the mercy of the public, with a nice viewing-gap in every stall for some reason.

Say you have a red-blooded American idiot, feeling that natural vulnerability you feel with your cheeks on that seat. They sit down, and Tucker Carlson's visage appears in their mind, saying, "Be afraid! A transgender will RAPE you! It can HAPPEN RIGHT NOW!" And the transphobe wipes, get up, and get ready to leave, hands shaking ready to grab your pepper spray if there's a transgender on their way out.

But if you're just Any Transgender Person using the bathroom, it's probably the number one area where you can anticipate conflict. It was probably pretty scary the first few times you dared to use the "other" restroom. If you've been trans and using restroooms for awhile, you probably had conflict in the past.

You know now you got out safe, but those conflicts didn't start with that assurance. You wouldn't know if they would escalate to violence.

And when people feel increasingly empowered and even mandated to start conflicts at the bathroom, that die rolls again and again. Maybe next time you'll get shoved, or even pepper sprayed, or assaulted even worse.

So, the transgender person sits down on the seat in the adjacent stall, and the visage of Actual Conflicts You Had appear in your mind, saying, "Be afraid! Someone might yell at you! Or worse! It can HAPPEN RIGHT NOW!" It doesn't matter that the trans person has reason to be afraid and the transphobe doesn't-- both are afraid.

The trans person wipes, flushes, and goes to wash their hands. Your cortisol is up, and even just a scornful stare is enough to bring it higher.

I've definitely left situations like that feeling, "fuck!! i have all this anxious energy!! i need to POST about it", falling for the exact thing you described. And then Fox fucking News wins again.

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twovests OP wrote

Reply to comment by cowloom in In Defense of Idiocracy by twovests

I was a child when I saw it, so, grain of salt. And it would be deeply embarrassing to base ones worldview on it.

But it's entertaining mediocre enough to give it a scrappy quality, does a lot of worldbuilding work that goes underappreciated, and is only 90 minutes!

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twovests wrote

Reply to Anyone ever been rightfully criticized for something, but you just weren't ready to hear it yet? by cowloom

I've been thinking about this. Flabberghaster already took the "I have never been rightfully criticized" joke, so I must engage seriously.

I think trying to turn the tide of a conversation on somewhere like Reddit is very different than trying to change an individual persons mind. On Reddit, if you can belittle someone well enough, you won't change their mind, but you might change a hundred onlookers minds.

But I do agree- if you want to change an individuals mind, you need to be compassionate and generous and give them outs where they can save face. If you can bring them to agree with you, it should never be embarrassing or hypocritical.

When I was a teen, I was a little MRA shit, and folks at SRS and The Fempire basically saved me. But I did like to think of myself as a perfectly logical automata(*) which helped me see through the jabs and circlejerks and whatnot.

That said, I can't remember the last time I was criticized and unready to hear it. I think I've always been able to see that people can say useful or correct things, even if they're dicks about it or are incorrect about a lot of other things.

* i am using the label from your post but i would be so embarrassed to earnestly use this label for myself. "perfectly logical" is just the floor. u gotta have good epistemics and u also gotta have a good capacity to think beyond just the tools of logic. they call me "philosophy of thot" for a reason

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twovests wrote

Reply to i'm posting by hollyhoppet

this is what they say when people are gaming, except they say "i'm gaming".

something similar can be said of those who garden

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twovests wrote

Reply to Avoiding the wet place by rain

I’m new here; is this a proper use of jstpst?

yes, this is excellent posting!

i wanna see yur posts, I wanna be yur friend

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twovests wrote (edited )

Reply to I'm a big pro-wokeness type of guy by flabberghaster

caught up on my Phone In Bed sites (i save jstpst, the best for last) and now i'm going to get up out of bed the moment i hit this Post button

wokeness IS good

(edit: wokeness not wholeness. i curse autocorrect)

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twovests OP wrote

Reply to well now i'm worried about nuclear war by twovests

i know "america is dying" has been discussed for decades now, but come on

our leaders are so old that "actuarial tables" come up regularly in political discussion. and that's not even the 100th worst thing about it!

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