twovests

twovests OP wrote

Hair brushed aside, eyes cast back over a cold shoulder, holding your chin up high, clasping your hands, getting on your knees, no skin off your back, etc.

This is meant to be a list of things one can do, where a lot of emotion is implied through what is just a literal description of ones body. "No skin off your back" is an idiom and didn't fit, though.

But I realize it reads like I am describing you, the reader. It's a garden path sentence. It reads like it could continue as

"Hair brushed aside, eyes cast back over a cold shoulder, holding your chin up high, you scoffed at the pitiful poster in front of you."

I gotta get better at writing.

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twovests OP wrote

Reply to comment by twovests in by twovests

Incredibly contrived interactions in this episode, as well as incredibly subtle interactions which interplay well with plot implications. Chekov's Gun is on the way from point A to point B and the subtle interplay of desire and conflict is its ferry for this leg of the trip.

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twovests OP wrote

Reply to by twovests

actually i don't like this episode. i take it back

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