Because the bug fixes weren't big enough to warrant a major version increment

Introducing the 1.1 ring

that sounds amazing

the poo ring

finally... weed for chicks....

#GenderEquality

there is a two ring it's called marrage

It's not B)

two ring or not two ring, that is the question

i really tried to watch this but it made me look at streamers and bug like anime characters, i just couldnt make it through the awful screaming and disconcerting side to side stiff swaying thing they do

Yeah I lost it when I saw that blender! "What if cold harbor were a juicero pack? What if the lumon water drop was a juice drop? Lumon makes foodstuffs, ri- WOAHHHH DYLAN..."

god i love turnip cake....

you could make rice noodles if you're feeling adventurous

the callback to the fruit in fruits in the sink... wow

lo bak gao if you like daikon

i know a lot of glutinous rice flour recipes but they're not interchangeable :c

The rest of it

This was too much to write out, so here are the plotbeats draft:

• Mark: The plan is to go into the office and refine data. But this time, he selects only the numbers which make him feel nothing, to ruin Cold Harbor. Harmony explains that Milchick will be happy to have him work after hours.

• He calls Milchick, who is indeed very happy, albeit conflicted. He is eating a salad, with croutons, and decides to take it slow to the office. (Fitting with his character arc.) Milchick calls the front-desk security to ask them to let Mark in.

• Mark gets to the office, is carded in.

• Gemma is told "that is enough juicing; it is time for your rooms. You're doing all of them today."

• Then Joe Biden breaks in to the Christmas Room, says "Christmas is Fascist", and shoots the Dr. in the head and breaks Gemma out through the broken severed door.

• Biden's brain is so old and calcified that it breaks any severance door he goes through.

• Gemma and Joe Biden are are confronted by James and Helena, who explains the master plan: Relaunch the Juicero by manipulating world events (see: Lexington Letter) to make it so that every person in the world is in dire need of a cold glass of freshly squeezed juice at the moment of launch. The flavor Cold Harbor is flavored like the release of death, with none of the dying, to really seal the deal.
• Joe Biden begins a confrontation like "Listen up Jack, no malarky-" but then bumps his head and dies instantly.
• Gemma, recognizing Helena, informs her about the conditions she's being held under, slowly realizing that Helena was already aware. Helena explains it's for the greatest good, and that the launch has already started, before walking away with James. As Helena walks away, Gemma says Helena is pathetic and has nobody in her life who loves her, and Helena walks back, and whispers in Gemma's ear, "I fucked Mark and I'm havi-."
• Before Helena can finish her sentence, Gemma bites Helena's eyeball out.

• Milchick is still eating his salad when he gets a PRIORITY ALERT on the status of Helena's gouged eye. He says, "God dammit," grabs his bag of croutons to snack on, and motorcycles to the office.

• Dylan and Gretchen see a commercial for "Juice, 2!"
• Natalie and Ricken are presenting it. It's literally just the Juicero again. But... It's so very compelling.
• Dylan and Gretchen breathe a sigh of relief. Things might be okay after all.
• Just then: Beehive mode activates, turning all the severed people into a brand new thing: A personality solely dedicated to protecting Helena Eagan.
• Dylan stands up with a newfound and unshakable purpose in life, and he makes a beeline to Lumon. He's not alone, and a montage starts. Every single severed individual is trying to get to Lumon. Even Irving is included in the montage. Even the Severed people in other continents are trying their best to get to Lumon. Also, all the goats are going crazy.

• Cut to Milchick, in the repurposed security room, having had activated the beehive protocol.
• One of the monitors is dedicated to the security profiles while the remaining monitors still have a one-image slideshow of Dylan and Gretchen.
• But Harmony calls and explains "don't activate it, by the way, it will be in reverso mode soon because of MDR shenanigans." But it is too late to unactivate it! Oh no! It's not like the OTC; once it's turned on, only Helena can deactivate it.

• Gemma, severed, is kneeling before smirking Helena. Mark quickly makes it down the elevator, also in deference to the queen.
• Helena, who has been ignoring calls from Harmony, receives a call from Milchick, explaining the situation she is in. She books it to the security room. She tells Gemma and Mark to stay behind, but they follow her closely, like dedicated security dogs.

• Joe Biden, who survived his bump, seeks nutrients in the nearby Cold Harbor room, recognizing it from the Juice packet. The inside is a black abyss. As he crawls in, we see only a constellation of mysterious lights in his eyes. Then, something like recognition appears on his face as he screams into the howling void. The screen goes black.

• The loyalty and deference in Mark and Gemma's eyes slowly turn. Helena and James are surrounded. James unbuttons his shirt, revealing a form of stacked rippling muscles. He explains that a diet of freshly squeezed raw juice has left him in perfect fighting condition.
• Helena and James are ready to fight, just as Mark and Gemma are overtaken by the insatiable bloodlust of the inverted Beehive Protocol.
• Just then, the elevator dings, and a hoard of Severed employees pour out, clown-car style.
• James stays behind to fight as Helena runs through the hallway to the Security room. They sure do love their Hallway runs on Severance.

• The next scene is a long, uncharacteristic, and single-shot action sequence with fantastic fight choerography. Very much "River Tam beats up Everybody", but it's "James Eagan takes on every Severed person we've seen in the series." He has a visible "NO FUN ALLOWED" tattoo.

• Helena gets to the security room, but all the buttons are destroyed.
• She looks at the security cameras. The perpetuity wing is safe. She takes a secret exit.

• Meanwhile, throughout Kier, people are clamoring to buy the latest in Juice-squeezing innovations. They can't get enough. They need it. The need Juice, 2! They will kill for Juice, 2!
• There aren't enough Juicero Juice, 2! to go around. It's the fucking apocalypse. Oh my God. People are killing for the Juice, 2!, and killing themselves if they can't get one.

• Helena approaches the deepest basement in the perpetuity wing.

• James puts up a good, long, juice-powered fight, but is eventually destroyed.
• As the crowd leaves James to pursue Helena, Harmony appears, drill in hand. She removes the Severance chips from each characters head, including the blue one inside James'.

• Helena unseals the hushed casket of Kier Eagan. His eyes open. The severance theme plays.

The credits roll, and then, a post-credits scene:

• It ends with Irving showing up late to the bloodbath in the hallways of the Severed floor, like Horatio at the end of Hamlet. He says, "Alright kids, I guess this is what's for dinner." He takes his blue Irving funeral mug, scoops up some of the blood from his ankles, and takes a sip, looking directly at the camera.

A line swoops in, but this time it doesn't adorn the words "Severance". It adorns the words "Juicero 2", with a new subtitle, "Announcement coming", and a subsubtitle, "WWDC 2025".

okay that's reason enough 8) yayyy

good luck

i do

I listen to a ton most of which have no ads, but Behind the Bastards, It Could Happen Here and Better Offline are all I heart radio and they have all kinds of fuck ass ads.

It's so funny to be listening to better offline, where the whole podcast is about how bad AI is, and every ad is about how you NEED to up your AI game to keep up in the market.

Good luck!!

couldnt you circumvent dynamic ad insertion by like, developing a way to recognise ad audio data like how normal files can be recognised by md5 checksums? for each podcast users could flag ads and upload their like, "audio signatures" to a central server. when users play a podcast they could download the audio signatures and automatically skip periods of a file which match them

Sports betting ads is an instant unfollow for any podcast Lol.

What do you listen to anyway? My regulars are Just King Things (Stephen King podcast, weirdly touches on a lot of American culture), QAA (conspiracy skeptic stuff), some board game stuff, and weirdo comedy stuff like Seeking Derangements and Doighboys.

Yay ^⁠_⁠^ this sounds exciting!! And it seems you've got the right attitude!

The dynamic ad thing I knew about but I didn't think of it when I made this. The "if it got big it would crater the already not great podcast ads business model and put people whose output I like out of work" did occur to me.

I feel like you could may be work around the dynamic ads issue if you were good enough with signal processing. Originally the idea was "the only good use case for an AI I can think of, is one trained to recognize ads in podcasts and skip over them" but then I tried to think how to do it without AI.

Even if you didn't use AI, you could probably do what Shazam did where it could recognize a song. The app would instead, recognize the point in the podcast where they were just about to throw to ads, and when they come back, and skip over anything in between. This would still work with tagging probably.

The podcast companies would come up with countermeasures I'm sure. And it seems quite complex. But I wouldn't have to hear about sports betting as much.

as someone who developed mobile apps for fifteen years i open anything with "app idea" in it with dread but this idea ain't too shabby

I have two things to regretfully inform you of:

1: I occasionally listen to the podcast of the guy who makes the podcast app I use (overcast) and he thought up this idea a decade ago. He never implemented it because he didn't want to fuck with people's business, at least back when the whole thing was smaller scale. No idea why I remember this random thing, I guess I also thought it was a good idea.

2: The way ads are delivered today would screw this up. Podcasts (or at least the one with lots of ads) use dynamically inserted ads now, meaning that there isn't just one file that everyone is downloading that is the podcast. You can download a podcast on Monday, and then download it again on Tuesday, and it'll have a different number and length of ads. There's marketing tech in the background adjusting things based on what people are paying for campaigns and such. And while they don't track that much about you, they can tell generally where the file is being downloaded from a target ads that way, so two people downloading the same podcast at the same time might get different ads.

I also learned this from that podcast app dude. He had to remove a feature where you could stream a podcast from the internet, pause it, and then resume it without downloading the whole file to your phone. It would try to resume from the same time but it'd be jumbled around because it wasn't the same file anymore!

Ads fucking suck I hate them so much!!!!!