yup, though i dont have adhd, all this lines up with what ive experienced with the irish healthcare "system". its kind of sad, but i hope to try and get a job that gives health insurance lol .... how american ....

I've been thinking about this a lot. If anything, you at least saved it much suffering and possibly gave it some relief in its final moments.

It's a stovetop one, but I can hear it from the other room when it starts to boil.

I'm still not following the story completely but I think that's okay, glad you could vent it off a bit!

another win for the /f/teakettlecartel

but also I loved my stovetop whistling tea kettle for a good couple of years

Electric or stovetop?

I like my electric because I can forget it and it’s just a waste of some heat rather than a fire hazard

I appreciate the advice, but no, this is a situation where I have to stand up for myself or I’m going to continue getting steam rolled

I went ahead and delivered the formal notice today, which kicks off the process. If they’re not out in two weeks, then I get the law involved and it kicks off a month long process where they have opportunity to appeal and jfc don’t let me start thinking about it or I’ll get upset.

It kills me because they’ve been close friends, but money and proximity is killing that, and this notice feels like a printed started, “We are no longer friends”

But, like, Cowloom is right. I’m a giver, and I want to give to more people and people I’m close to, and more deserving people, and I want to give less so I can keep some more for myself. And they are taking!! They are like a subscription service because I am paying for them to be in my life!!

And I’m just trying to stop feeling guilty for unsubscribing!

I appreciate you devtesla! But yeah cowloom much more accurately describes what I’m going though than I am (for instance I am conflating police with court and while they are deeply tied institutions, police involvement is not really on the table that’s just a high emotional reaction. Also no they would never abduct or hurt Alan under any circumstances, that’s an unfair thing to imply. The chocolate story, for instance, I feel like Alyce and I would have communicated better in previous years. But also given that conversation: yeah it’s time we de-orbit each other)

I'm so sorry to hear that. I was taken advantage of by my ex-roommates as well, and it's not a pleasant experience. They would never do chores, then get upset with me when I asked them to pick up after themselves. They'd treat me like a stranger in my own home, and one even had the gall to ask me to not be at home as much, when I was letting them stay there for free. I had to learn the hard way what a "taker" is, and why they don't deserve my generosity. I relate to a lot of what you're going through.

My rule of thumb is to only involve the police if the situation cannot possibly be made worse by their presence. The only thing I can think of that'd fit that bill would be a life or death situation. It's definitely a dilemma, because you deserve to be comfortable in your own home, but going to the police might result in brutality against your roommates, which would be an even worse crime than what they're putting you through (emphasis on might, since the police are always an unpredictable variable). I would make sure I've exhausted every other option before even considering it. With my ex-roommates, I set up monthly house meetings with them, where we would discuss interpersonal conflicts and issues with the division of household labor, and attempt to settle them peacefully. They didn't get much better, but it helped a little. Maybe if you're close to the end of the lease, you could try to grin and bear it for a few more months, then just not renew the lease with them. It 100% isn't fair to you that you have to put up with this, but sadly with the "justice" system being the way it is, that might just be the least terrible outcome. In an ideal world, you would have a way to settle this issue without putting them in harm's way.

What kind of agreement do you have with these women? Did they sign a lease? Like what did they do really?

I have no idea if this is an interpersonal issue or a legal one so I can't like, absolve you or give you advice. I do want to say that eviction is a huge step no matter who is involved. Like I get that involving the police with black women is different than with white people but it sucks to be evicted either way!

You do deserve to feel safe in your home and yeah eviction might be in the cards, but evictions are hard to get for a lot of very good reasons. You don't want to rely on that to be safe. Do you have friends that can help? If you don't trust them around your dog, can they take in your dog for a bit? Like there's so many steps before eviction that you may not need to jump through yet.

In any case, good luck!

but i got to do my part, 'cause i know in my heart, i got to please my sweet'n baby, yeah

well yeah, that's why i didn't post it

for what it's worth, it derides capitalism for expending so much on the arts IF ☝️ the arts is a commercial, and even then abandoning that. plus there's a whole section titled "dubloons"

TV commercials were a form of beauty we lost and I'm not afraid to say it

not gonna read this post but its wrong

i know very little about music and what i learned was from the backwards so i am reading this with non negligible fascination

I think that's ticks or spasms? Like you would get in your eye maybe?

i'm gearing up to Read Papers and do the work like my livelihood depends on it lol

I wish you the best of luck! I went down the physical modeling rabbit hole a few years ago, though I didn't end up creating anything more than a few test programs.

i have, though i'm looking to build something a little more user friendly than tao haha. something more like phaseplant or a simpler vcv rack

That's awesome! Have you heard of Tao before? It's an unfinished FOSS physical modeling synthesizer that sounds a lot like what you're describing. The UI is... about what you'd expect for it being one guy's college project from 20 years ago, but I've managed to make a few neat sounds with it.

• A plugin that will let you control and automate the Roland Sound Canvas SC-88. This one probably won't be very popular but it's what I'm using to get my feet wet. Currently thinking of pricing it $30. I would like to expand this to a series that supports more hardware too, like the rest of the sound canvas line, and the Roland JV-1080. Maybe also the Korg M1 if that niche isn't filled yet.
• A plugin that will let you apply a curve to any CC, Velocity, Pitch bend, or whatever using a nice curve editing graph UI. Will support 14 bit to 7 bit, vice versa, and same to same. Map any type of param to any other type of param. Probably about $7.
• A sort-of-delay focused on attempting to humanize and "ensemblize" an audio source. Not sure on pricing for this one yet since it needs more design work.
• And the most ambitious: a modular physical modeling synthesizer using an approach that you're "building" a fantasy instrument. Take one or more impulse generators: blowing, a plucked string, etc, and send that through simulated instrument bodies, sympathetic string responses, wind tubes, and/or more digital things like filters and the like. This one will be in the $30-$100 range, ultimately depending on scope once I lock down the design more.

That's great! What plugin ideas do you have so far? I'm not a music professional by any stretch, but I have played around with DAWs before.

good luck

Good luck!!

Yay ^⁠_⁠^ this sounds exciting!! And it seems you've got the right attitude!

Whenever I start feeling this way, I remind myself that people who lived under brutal empires in the past probably also felt the same way. But those empires eventually crumbled, the people started the long journey of healing, and eventually the future was bright again. I very much want a good future, but that future has to be fought for, and part of that means rooting out defeatist thoughts.

I'm a fan of the "revolutionary suicide" concept (by this I mean the original meaning of the phrase as coined by Huey Newton, before it was hijacked by the Jonestown cult). Revolutionary suicide, in its original form, was the idea that it is better to die on your feet than on your knees; that it is better to die resisting the forces that would drive me to self murder, rather than by giving in to them. This is one of the things that keeps me going. If the fascists want me dead, they will have to come and kill me themselves. I won't do it for them.

No matter how bleak things may be, we can't give up hope. Because there is always hope, as long as people are willing to resist.