Recent comments in /f/venting

twovests wrote

Reply to i feel im becoming increasingly neurotic. people liking me makes me feel sick to my stomach by I_got_killed_one_time

I've been thinking about your post a lot because it's something that I feel like I have felt very strongly in the past.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're an evil person or anything like that. If you feel apprehension and other difficult emotions when other people like you, those feelings are real and I empathize with you in grappling with them. But do remember that it does not mean they're wrong to like you.

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twovests wrote

Reply to When did communication skills become endangered? by cowloom

I think the pandemic might have forced a big hit. For me, the social skills I had built up in the ~4 years leading up to lockdown were basically entirely wiped away by isolation.

I've been thinking a lot about ways communication was essential for day-to-day life, and how preferences wiped that away entirely. I became an adult when self-checkout was in every grocery store I'd been to. And those shitty kiosks that fast-food joints like Dunkin Donuts have are really nice, because they take away the time pressure of trying to make decisions by squinting at a distant menu that's constantly sliding and fading. But it also means another place where we can avoid actual human interaction.

Not to get Spiritual, but every consciousness is kind of an amazing thing? We're all wet, small, imperfect models of the universe around us, and when people come together, we make a bigger, wetter, more perfect model of the universe around us. When people say "math is beautiful" and "science is beautiful", it shares that same beauty that exists when people come together.

I grew up with people bemoaning downward trends which didn't actually exist. ("People are getting dumber!" no they weren't. "Crime is going up!" the numbers say otherwise.) But now the downward trends are real and the idea of people getting even worse at communicating is scary. But I think you're right and it's a downward trend that is also happening.

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twovests wrote

Reply to I'm really struggling by flabberghaster

I wish I could help you. I am often in places consistent with what you're describing (and it was really really bad 2020-2022). I wish "just pull it together" worked

I want to echo the sentiments from I_got_killed_one_time and nomorepie. You and your brain health are important to us.

Something I think helped me a lot was to create a habit tracker with a checklist of easily accomplishable basics. It's just a Field Notes journal. Like, my brain health is still in shambles, but at least this way my brain health is in shambles and I floss every day. If you're someone who benefits from checklists and notebooks, that might help a bit?

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I_got_killed_one_time wrote

Reply to I'm really struggling by flabberghaster

Go to the doctor or just a therapist. They can be good for you. From knowing you i think you could benefit from a therapist, they can give you advice and strategies on how to deal with and ease out of the behaviours youre talking about.

You dont have to do everything yourself. It doesn't make you less nobel or more weak if you cant fix your brain and completely cure yourself from first principles. Because thats not possible. Its ok to get help. People want to help.

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cowloom wrote

Reply to It feels like February 2020 again, doesn't it? Am I the only one? [CW; dirings] by twovests

You're not alone at all. I feel the same way. At least with the pandemic, we knew those tend to fizzle out after a few years, but there's no standard expiration date for fascism. 2023 had plenty of problems, but from inside the US, it seemed to be the first relatively "normal" year since 2015 - and it will likely be the last normal one for quite a while. But while hardships are sure to come, falling into defeatism is doing trump's work for him (not that that's what you're doing; it's just a common sentiment I've seen online). The "it's all over, we're so cooked" mentality is just as harmful as the maga one. Because it's never "over" as long as people are willing to fight back.

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twovests wrote

Reply to my dad found out about my name change by ___

(First, I am very happy and relieved to see you again, despite the circumstances. You are welcome here and we love you.)

But, yeah, fuck :( That's a shitty situation and I can relate to it. 🫂

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Moonside wrote

Reply to comment by twovests in I want to indulge in dooming. There is nothing wrong with the catharsis of screaming. Doom in this thread with me. by twovests

I'm gonna be honest, the excitement of Obama being elected was real. I understood at the time that the racial aspect was just symbolic, but the symbolism was nonetheless hopeful and felt real. There was a sense that good things could keep piling up. 2008-2011 was a bloomer period despite the recession to me.

About the 10's social justice movement I feel much more ambivalent about. It was too scoldy and moralistic. I actually like and appreciate representation, but now I'm pretty sure is not a viable path of political change. I appreciated MeToo in concept and as something sorely needed, but I definitely felt the gains could have been more solid and I'm not sure if the social media logic of it turned out well. 2017-2020 of BLM was great stuff but in a difficult period. Getting Trump to back down into hiding in a bunker was a sign of something going right. Biden downturn in activism was depressing. I didn't participate in the Palestine movement after Oct 7th but that was too big of a bite to succeed, doesn't mean it wasn't worth a try.

The one thing that feels weird is how sexual politics opened up a lot until the pandemic when transphobic reaction, kinkphobia and tradwifery really kicked up.

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cowloom wrote

Reply to I want to indulge in dooming. There is nothing wrong with the catharsis of screaming. Doom in this thread with me. by twovests

It does seem like the fascists will be successful in their soft coup d'état. Too many people are staying at home and dissociating instead of resisting, and the few thousands who want to fight back are still stuck doing ineffective things like peaceful protests or calling "their" representatives. There are too many liberals, and not enough leftists. Hopefully the incoming repression will radicalize more people, but will it be enough to mount a real resistance? Millions are going to suffer or die before then, and it's the worst feeling knowing that there's nothing you can do to stop it right now.

It's unclear whether the maga regime will fall due to a civil war, or world war 3. Or, maybe there will be a "greater" american empire, like the ancient roman one, that will persist for hundreds of years before crumbling. None of these outcomes are good, but while the future is uncertain, the only certainty is that we can't simply give in. We may be tired, we may feel hopeless, but we have to keep fighting. Our survival, and the survival of the most oppressed masses, depends on it.

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