twovests

twovests OP wrote

Reply to in the future, all CARS will be ELECTRIC. all ICECREAM will be DIPPIN DOTS. all MOVIES will be 3D. all FURNITURE will be IKEA. and all JUICE will be... say it with me... by twovests

J IS FOR JUICE, FRESH AND DELICIOUS

U IS FOR ULTIMATE FRESHNESS IN EVERY SIP

I IS FOR AN INSTANT VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY

C IS FOR CONVENIENT, AND EASY TO USE

E IS FOR ENDLESS VARIETY, BE IT FRUIT OR VEGGIE

R IS FOR REFRESHING

O IS FOR ORGANIC AND HEALTHY. (OR ORANGES! THOSE ARE GOOD TOO)

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twovests wrote

Reply to Master Chief teaches you how to sleep well by hollyhoppet

Master Chief would NEVER say a soldier must recharge their energy shields before charging into battle. As of the most recent canon, personal energy shields for personnel are almost UNIVERSALLY reserved for Spartans. That kind of disheartening humblebrag would be disastrous for morale.

But... Then the video ends with "night night, Spartan." This is bonkers!

This video imagines John providing mentorship to another Spartan where energy shields are common place?!?

John got his first energy-shield with the MJOLNIR MARK V when he first met Cortana, shortly before the Fall of Reach. He was one of the very first Spartans to try it out.

Since then, we have almost every second of canon accounted for. Fall of Reach leads to Halo CE, 2, and 3. John is fighting nonstop for those months.

Plus, we ALREADY HAVE established canon showing John advising a subordinate to sleep. (It's been a few years, but I believe this was John with Blue Team advising Petrov in Halo: Oblivion.) She says, no, we're just going to keep using the stim packs, thanks.

But more importantly, the timeline just doesn't make sense. There are very few occasions where John could have feasibly mentored other Spartans.

  • John gets energy shields shortly before Reach
  • From Fall of Reach to Halo 3, John is fighting continuously.
  • Halo 4, John meets up with some Spartan IVs, learning of their (and the IIIs) existence. No break to talk.
  • Halo 4 ends July 25th 2557
  • Halo: Escalation (killing The Didact again on Installation 03) takes place July 26th and July 27th
  • Potential mentorship spot #1. But, around this time, John was coping with Cortana's death by taking on countless missions with his old pals, Blue Team. BLUE TEAM ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO SLEEP.
  • Sept 26 2557 is the next time John comes up canonically, where he is interviewed by ONI about Cortana, on Borneo station orbiting Earth.
    • Although the "location of Earth" cat is out of the bag, Laconia station was located in a mystery location, likely far from here.
  • It is during late 2557 and 2558 that John, on missions with Blue Team, starts getting accused of crimes (HUNT THE TRUTH).

actually i got bored of writing this post and pretending to be angry about halo canon. master chief instructing sleep is hilarious and adorable

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