twovests

twovests OP wrote

Reply to in the future, all CARS will be ELECTRIC. all ICECREAM will be DIPPIN DOTS. all MOVIES will be 3D. all FURNITURE will be IKEA. and all JUICE will be... say it with me... by twovests

J IS FOR JUICE, FRESH AND DELICIOUS

U IS FOR ULTIMATE FRESHNESS IN EVERY SIP

I IS FOR AN INSTANT VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY

C IS FOR CONVENIENT, AND EASY TO USE

E IS FOR ENDLESS VARIETY, BE IT FRUIT OR VEGGIE

R IS FOR REFRESHING

O IS FOR ORGANIC AND HEALTHY. (OR ORANGES! THOSE ARE GOOD TOO)

5

twovests wrote

Reply to Master Chief teaches you how to sleep well by hollyhoppet

Master Chief would NEVER say a soldier must recharge their energy shields before charging into battle. As of the most recent canon, personal energy shields for personnel are almost UNIVERSALLY reserved for Spartans. That kind of disheartening humblebrag would be disastrous for morale.

But... Then the video ends with "night night, Spartan." This is bonkers!

This video imagines John providing mentorship to another Spartan where energy shields are common place?!?

John got his first energy-shield with the MJOLNIR MARK V when he first met Cortana, shortly before the Fall of Reach. He was one of the very first Spartans to try it out.

Since then, we have almost every second of canon accounted for. Fall of Reach leads to Halo CE, 2, and 3. John is fighting nonstop for those months.

Plus, we ALREADY HAVE established canon showing John advising a subordinate to sleep. (It's been a few years, but I believe this was John with Blue Team advising Petrov in Halo: Oblivion.) She says, no, we're just going to keep using the stim packs, thanks.

But more importantly, the timeline just doesn't make sense. There are very few occasions where John could have feasibly mentored other Spartans.

  • John gets energy shields shortly before Reach
  • From Fall of Reach to Halo 3, John is fighting continuously.
  • Halo 4, John meets up with some Spartan IVs, learning of their (and the IIIs) existence. No break to talk.
  • Halo 4 ends July 25th 2557
  • Halo: Escalation (killing The Didact again on Installation 03) takes place July 26th and July 27th
  • Potential mentorship spot #1. But, around this time, John was coping with Cortana's death by taking on countless missions with his old pals, Blue Team. BLUE TEAM ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO SLEEP.
  • Sept 26 2557 is the next time John comes up canonically, where he is interviewed by ONI about Cortana, on Borneo station orbiting Earth.
    • Although the "location of Earth" cat is out of the bag, Laconia station was located in a mystery location, likely far from here.
  • It is during late 2557 and 2558 that John, on missions with Blue Team, starts getting accused of crimes (HUNT THE TRUTH).

actually i got bored of writing this post and pretending to be angry about halo canon. master chief instructing sleep is hilarious and adorable

2

twovests OP wrote

Reply to comment by cute_spider_ni_srsly in chatgpt rp thread! pretend to be chatgpt in your replies. (pretend this post is a prompt! hehe.) by twovests

why are clouds like that? do you think fabrics would enjoy being dried if they could feel emotions? i'm concerned about all the things people ate in ancient, calorie-restrained times. imagine the trial and error it took to figure out which mushrooms were food or poison. that concerns me

3

twovests OP wrote (edited )

Reply to comment by twovests in ty devtesla for a shoutout to the RG35XX. the one i got came with an SD card preloaded with so many games. im trying to find the worst GBA games and im starting with eragon by twovests

i started highschool music the game

how did we ever complain about tik tok

im so sad this is what people my age had for entertainment as kids... this is like when you're at your friends house and their grandma tells you about "hoop and stick". jesus

EDIT: nevermind. i just remembered super mario galaxy came out around the same time. and metroid prime 3. true golden age actually

3

twovests OP wrote

Reply to ty devtesla for a shoutout to the RG35XX. the one i got came with an SD card preloaded with so many games. im trying to find the worst GBA games and im starting with eragon by twovests

update: eragon (gameboy) is like final fantasy (i think, i never played it, except for "The Crystal Chronicles".)

the author of eragon was, like, 6 when he wrote the books. so i bet he was jazzed to have a game about his story. plus he was like 12 when it came out, so his standards were probably pretty low.

arya just told me, "Remember, I can attack up to 4 times per turn" in the worst pre-rendered 3D CGI i have ever seen. apparently she can perform special attacks

there's an inventory option called "saphira". instead of being greyed out, this game reds it out. im excited. i want the dragon dragon please i want the fuckingf dragon PLease

god im glad im didnt have the money for this game as a child.

4