cowloom

cowloom wrote

I'm so sorry to hear that. I was taken advantage of by my ex-roommates as well, and it's not a pleasant experience. They would never do chores, then get upset with me when I asked them to pick up after themselves. They'd treat me like a stranger in my own home, and one even had the gall to ask me to not be at home as much, when I was letting them stay there for free. I had to learn the hard way what a "taker" is, and why they don't deserve my generosity. I relate to a lot of what you're going through.

My rule of thumb is to only involve the police if the situation cannot possibly be made worse by their presence. The only thing I can think of that'd fit that bill would be a life or death situation. It's definitely a dilemma, because you deserve to be comfortable in your own home, but going to the police might result in brutality against your roommates, which would be an even worse crime than what they're putting you through (emphasis on might, since the police are always an unpredictable variable). I would make sure I've exhausted every other option before even considering it. With my ex-roommates, I set up monthly house meetings with them, where we would discuss interpersonal conflicts and issues with the division of household labor, and attempt to settle them peacefully. They didn't get much better, but it helped a little. Maybe if you're close to the end of the lease, you could try to grin and bear it for a few more months, then just not renew the lease with them. It 100% isn't fair to you that you have to put up with this, but sadly with the "justice" system being the way it is, that might just be the least terrible outcome. In an ideal world, you would have a way to settle this issue without putting them in harm's way.

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cowloom wrote

Happy birthday! Sorry for the belated comment, I wanted to answer yesterday, but the website timed out every time I tried to post a comment. I hope you had a great day yesterday, and have another one today!

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cowloom wrote

That's awesome! Have you heard of Tao before? It's an unfinished FOSS physical modeling synthesizer that sounds a lot like what you're describing. The UI is... about what you'd expect for it being one guy's college project from 20 years ago, but I've managed to make a few neat sounds with it.

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cowloom wrote

Whenever I start feeling this way, I remind myself that people who lived under brutal empires in the past probably also felt the same way. But those empires eventually crumbled, the people started the long journey of healing, and eventually the future was bright again. I very much want a good future, but that future has to be fought for, and part of that means rooting out defeatist thoughts.

I'm a fan of the "revolutionary suicide" concept (by this I mean the original meaning of the phrase as coined by Huey Newton, before it was hijacked by the Jonestown cult). Revolutionary suicide, in its original form, was the idea that it is better to die on your feet than on your knees; that it is better to die resisting the forces that would drive me to self murder, rather than by giving in to them. This is one of the things that keeps me going. If the fascists want me dead, they will have to come and kill me themselves. I won't do it for them.

No matter how bleak things may be, we can't give up hope. Because there is always hope, as long as people are willing to resist.

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