He also, reportedly, during a serious bout of pleurisy in his mid-50s, had his nurse rub him from head to foot with Vaseline. He soon recovered, and credited his recovery to Vaseline.

i wonder if this will also cure me. actually you know what just do it anyway

reminds me of how the inventor of petroleum jelly ate a spoonful of the stuff every day and died at 96 lol

Yeah I would read the top comments on that post

I hardly...

Hey Funky Kong. I'm feeling better now after my 21 hour nap, during which my Bitcoin Mining Pool mined 0 bitcoins. But I was awarded dividends for the last Bitcoin we minted, which gave me a nice 0.00004BTC, so I'm feeling quite sultry.

I'm currently itemizing my deductions and, under the guise of a devout Christian, I am claiming to have donated soooo much money to my church. How much should I tell them?

Hi this is Daisy. Funky Kong you need to stop dancing around it and just tell Wario you want to sleep with him. Just ask if he's DTF already. This is getting embarrassing.

Anyway I'm off to write more filthy SasuNaru fanfic, good luck out there.

calling my lawyers about this. you have made a big mistake you are going to regret this. justice for luigi

you banned tghe single most sexual mario character i hope ur happy. ruining everything

NO LUIGI????? THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

im horny goomba

wario: the thing is i read it about three times

(ooc: the thing is i read it about three times)

read homestuck once and it infects all you do afterwards

Hey, I am Funky Kong. You may remember me from the renowned ASMR parody video.

It's always kind of awkward to be a character in a sexually explicit Nintendo fanfic. Like aren't we ripples from a simpler time when we didn't have to worry about much except for chores, homework and having fun? Yet here we are, being perverts in a hurt/comfort fic.

I am so horny you don't even know it. I have achieved everything in life- bananas, mostly- but there aren't enough female side characters to seduce in either of our fictional universes. Isn't that true? Wario, you've been single for a long time. Is there a Wapeasy or Wadaisy waiting for you somewhere, the romance of a life time? When will you see that the erotic power of money is no match to the gentle caressing of a bitcoin?

Listen. We need to bring excitement to our lives. Let's do tax fraud?

im wario and i had a really tough day. i dont want to do anything right now i just wanna sleep if that's ok. nobody takes me seriously and all my friends are relegated to a side series so they can't even come over to this rp thread. im asleep now zzz

I'm Luigi, and I and hurtling towards you headfirst having hit my 1/16 chance of getting a bonkers side-b smash "green missile"

okay you start.

i share this sentiment

i have no qualms against people with spare money shelling it out to scamscams while ignoring the mounting evidence that it's a scam

(i call it a "scamscam" because NFTs are like a scam on top of a scam. fraudulent nfts are a scamscamscam. append an extra scam if u agree capitalism is a scam #scamscamscamscam)

but the space is also filled with a lot of enthusiastic artists, programmers, etc. who aren't just investbros but truly believed optimistically that Blockchain Will Solve Thing. boredape is kind of adjacent to that

on the other hand, a lot of the most vocal people who were blinded seem to be using their fame to promote more coinshit and didn't actually get blinded. so i think actually my sympathies waned over these past few paragraphs #apefest

I feel a little bad for them tbh. That's such a shockingly horrible thing to have happen to you even if you're a dolt and a sucker.

something i love is that NFTs were supposed to provide a way to make a cryptographically timestamped message with verifiable authorship

but nobody is using that, and bored ape's twitter thread about the blinded attendees ended with this message, because NFT threads are full of scamscams

This is the final tweet in this thread. Anything below this that looks like us is spam/phishing links. Do not click on links unless you have determined they are safe. You can also cross-reference with http://crouton.net and official brand communication channels.

lol. lmao.

(editorial note: i added the crouton)

every one of my posts is 100% serious and describes something that has happened or is a premonition of something that will happen #apefest

all jokes aside, yeah, the #apefest hashtag on twitter was chock full of people who woke up early in the morning with tweets struggling to make sense of burns on their eyes and skin

now it's full of cryptogrifters saying shit like "When your eyesight returns, come & have a look at our collection. " nft link

not only are these people losing all their money on nfts in november 2023, theyre burning their retinas out attending stupid nft parties. so cool

lol i thought this was another one of your weird jokes until i came across this article

truly shocking that an nft event can exist in 2023

show her bubbie!!!

oreciuj

sure but what would it be called