Pirate theory: Santa is a gamer
"ho ho ho" suspiciously close to "go go go" (something gamers say)
has a crew (elves) large enough to fit an esports team
where does he get the materials to build all those toys? microtransactions
wears a hat
carries a cutlass and a flintlock pistol
has a gamercave in a remote location
big beard
Caribou wrote
Reply to comment by cute_spider_ni_srsly in my friend called me a dirt jock today by toasthaste
jort dick?