the last machine i used kills fascists with boiling water or possibly blunt force trauma

Same! If you got to me just a few minutes ago I could be running them down! But now all I've got is this water kettle.

very carefully

toast em

I checked and this is not true there is no sticker

this machine kills fascists by never letting them sleep

edit: oh crap i missed the "we'll try to guess what it is." well i guess if you were spoiled don't spoil it for anyone else lol

baby? cat? alarm clock?

toaster

It runs them over

two of those aren't machines lmao

it adds up all their mischiefs and evil deeds in a tidy sum