The just_post conclave; apply today!

Submitted by pinecone_fish in general

I've been thinking that we the people deserve some fun little heresies, as a treat, and where better to source an anti-pope than right here? Step right up and submit your dossier:

  1. Biography: Please submit a Sims-reenactment of your most recent heretical act.
  2. Essay question: which is your favorite death from Name of the Rose and why? Explain your reasoning through references to one of the following: Naruto, your high school Spanish textbook, or any of Tarkovsky's films.
  3. Multiple choice: the essence of God is (a) a cancer with unknown etiology (b) truth (c) the Cambrian explosion (d) lacking (e) strontium
  4. Short answer: where should the papal headquarters be located? If choosing a location not on Earth, please provide a brief justification.
  5. True/False: Please affirm or deny the following statement: "I am the true pope."

All materials should be uploaded to a long-dead forum of your choice. Voting will happen in the reviews section of the Internet Archive's upload of the Twilight Zone episode "The Passersby."

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Comments

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twovests wrote

  1. I don't know what a Sims is... I bet our Pope didn't either.

  2. Believe it or not, I haven't seen Naruto, I didn't have highschool Spanish, and I thought Tarkovsky made music. I think most Popes could say so. Now, Undertale on the other hand?

  3. The essence of God is lacking, I think

  4. The papal headerquarters should be located in Washington D.C., United States, and established by force.

  5. I am the True Pope

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hollyhoppet wrote

my first act as pope would be to immediately send everyone who hates trans people to hell so please vote for me

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missingno wrote

  1. I have never played The Sims.
  2. I don't know what that is.
  3. (d) lacking
  4. The Bermuda Triangle
  5. I asked the two guards in front of the doors and they said Maybe.
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Ruby wrote

i've never read The Name of the Rose but i listened to a movie podcast talk about the 1986 film adaptation starring sean connery, so i think that should count as partial credit

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pinecone_fish OP wrote

Replying to missingno (#24,997)

  1. Me neither!
  2. If it may interest you, the author decided to write the book because he really wanted to kill a monk.
  3. seems like a common answer! glad we've solved that bit of theo-philosophy (i guess that's not a real term? extra points to whoever pledges to make it one.)
  4. A seasteading pope! can I run the pirate radio?
  5. oh, those two. They realized that absolute truth doesn't exist, so neither can absolute falsehood. One of them still lies all the time, and one of them tells the truth, it's just you can't tell the difference anymore.
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