What a sweetie! Thank you. :)

This made me laugh.

I just say "I'm not into that tap on the app crap" these days.

No friends is better than faux friends.

Yep. :)

Tried to talk to the pigs again with minimal results and called Polly Klaas foundation. Talked to IRC/Matrix friend on private IM who didn't know what's been going on. At least they're still my friend. I think.

Also ate food, wore clothes and shit.

I was very much anti-gaming when I was raising my millenials. Since then, I have become interested in the free software movement and free culture in general and the internet has also become, in my not so humble opinion, a far more toxic and less pleasant place than it was in 2002 on Windows 98 with a dial-up connection and a 1 GB hard drive on a Pentium II with only 32MB of memory.

When my "digital native" came along in 2008, I had quite a different attitude towards gaming, especially after having received so much "tech support", respectful answers to my questions about how computers and the internet work, and exciting education and new projects to pursue from an online friend in Brazil who had learned English soley through playing video games.

I'm still not much of a gamer, but I do see value in gaming and do not think it would be healthy for a parent to prohibit an adolescent from all gaming. When i was growing up and also when I was raising my millenials, kids could always "go out to play" with the neighbourhood kids, either in the street, each other's yards, or at a public park.

Now there aren't any other kids to go out and play with and any parent who sent their kids to "go out and play" unsupervised would be lockied up for child abuse/neglect within 24 hours. The kids are all in their living rooms playing video games.

Maybe I was wrong, right, too idealistic, or not idealistic enough to let my kid play Minetest instead of Minecraft and not to be overly worried about the fact that he was the youngest person on his gaming IRC channel.

But that's my take on it, anyway, and I kind of want to play some of his favourite games even though I totally suck, but that's another story for another post--maybe one about putting a quarter in the first Pong machine within driving distance of my sickeningly stepfordesque suburb in the 1970s if I wind up living long enough for that to be cool.

It's so annoying but I'm glad that you're posting anyway. It means more to me than I am able to communicate at the present time.

Of course not! Howdy from me too. :D

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Since you are a long way away from him, I'd just focus on long distance phone calls at this point.

Assuming that he's about my age (late 50s) that's probably what's most comfortable for him if he's having rapid-onset cognitive issues. Trauma can affect a person's short-term memory and ability to process info too, regardless of their age, so don't be too quick to assume Alzheimer's.

What you do is love him and remind him who he is. Anybody can scrub toilets, microwave TV dinners, and administer meds but you are the only person who can be his son/daughter.

And you are.

And your stress post inspires me because it reminds me that no matter how fucked up the world is, there are still good people like you in it.

I'm glad. :D

Welcome back.

I'm not a programmer and still trying to figure this out. TFS.

Controversial Opinion #2: I'm not the slightest bit interested in "generation wars" and enjoy having friends of different ages.

I don't like smartphones and have no intention of ever using one. I lie about it, though: https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/595zg5/sopranica-jmp-wom-cell-network-diy-anonymous

I greatly dislike iPhones and had to throw mine away, but I do understand how loyal iFolks can be. I won't push my own opinions about software on to you now that I know. You can always ask if you're curious and I am always receptive to new information.

Me either and it has to do with childhood trauma/abuse.

I don't go around kicking puppies or anything and I like the CONCEPT of dogs, I just don't ever want to be responsible for one or in a situation where I can't just leave and avoid them.

Absolutely. Can we be controversial together?

Dump run and pawn stores this week, also lots of reading about physical effects of trauma and grief. Recognized that I need to stay the fuck off the news and did so reasonably well.

No worries; it works.

https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/7-things-you-can-be-proud-of-yourself-for-doing-by-the-time-youre/

Oh fuck; you can tell I've been wasting time on Raddle and letting all my computers go to shit, can't you?

< cringe >

Maybe I'll stop doing that now that I've hit rock bottom. ;)

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Thank you, everybody who works their butts off to give us this refuge. Sometimes I just want to shut off the internet and take all my gear to ewaste until I remember that I'd lose this place if I did and I don't want to do that.

I like all of you.

You are all interesting, even the people I don't interact with very much.

<3

Love you, Holly, and I totally get it. You take care of you and we'll catch up later.

Infinite respect for all you do.

I like you. That's all. I just like you. :)

TY; still trying to figure out if I killed my own bro by babbling too much about brats and making him drink himself to death or if our bizarre and toxic family were actually telling the truth about his cirrhosis of the liver getting that bad that fast being "Just one of those things".

I'm seriously needing Trans 101 shit here to try to make sense of this shit sandwich I've been served. I know enough not to ask but I don't know enough yet not to be very, very grateful for any information that is offered to help me wrap my mind around the fact that everything inside my head is a lie that I buy.

So thanks. I appreciate that. It's hard for me to conceptualize Dysphoria because I have other private hells but this one was my brother's and I had no idea.

I will have to live with the fact forever that I had no idea. I just thought we were tomboys and he was cooler than me.

So sorry Holly. I can only imagine, but of course I do. It's not if but when since I have this body that is flipping out enough over meno and my mom had a botched surgery and my grandmother....

Well, they'll just write "alcoholism" or "exposure" on my death certificate at this point because who cares but before they do I wanted to vent my rage at doctors in general. I didn't just want to go flat, I wanted to go HONEST!!!! I wanted to go FULL ON FEARLESS:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSZAIYOKHLg

and just tell them to take out the cancer, take off the nipples, leave the scars, and let me take off my flipping shirt legally when it gets hot out and say, "This is what breast cancer survivors look like."

Yea, well little thirteen year old idealistic hippie chicks don't always get what they want.

Pass me that bottle of brandy.

Agh. Urgh. Gross. I am simply not able to present a coherant picture today. Last week suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked and this week isn't going to be much better.

But I bought a shrink.

I didn't just buy any old shrink, I did a ton of research before I chose MY shrink. My shrink is a specialist. My shrink gets to see the diagnosis that my parents' super expensive shrink gave them right before their insurance money ran out.

My shrink's better than your shrink. My shrink believes the diagnosis my parents wanted to hide but my shrink is going to use this information to PROTECT me instead of using it to HURT me because my shrink is my shrink and I paid for my shrink with my own money.

Last thing in the world I ever thought I'd want to buy is a shrink but this is my shrink and my shrink is bigger than my enemies' shrink so I like my shrink and I'm glad i bought a shrink that I like because my shrink can protect me from other shrinks who want to shrink me into something I don't want to be shrunken into without my knowledge or consent.

My shrink will shrink me into the shrunken thing I want to be shrunken into because my shrink is my shrink and I paid for my shrink with my own money.

It's kind of fun saying the word "shrink" as if it was something I bought for myself because I wanted to. I guess I did, didn't I?

Oh Holly, I am so sorry! I totally get it too and no, nothing is worse, and nobody ever believes us or cares so we have to deal with that fresh betrayal every.single.time. and pretend that it doesn't even hurt when we are already smashed to a bloody pulp and doing everything we possibly can to keep it from annoying normal people or interfering with their....like watching their favourite sportsball teams on their portable televisions during their lunch hours or something???????

Yea, I know; I didn't have to be that verbose to get my point across which was really just, "Oh Holly!!!! I am so sorry!" in the first place.

I hope you're feeling better soon and I still like you and want to get to know you better even though we do have this unpleasant thing in common.