I am so sorry that you are going through this. Since you are a long way away from him, I'd just focus on long distance phone calls at this point.

Assuming that he's about my age (late 50s) that's probably what's most comfortable for him if he's having rapid-onset cognitive issues. Trauma can affect a person's short-term memory and ability to process info too, regardless of their age, so don't be too quick to assume Alzheimer's.

What you do is love him and remind him who he is. Anybody can scrub toilets, microwave TV dinners, and administer meds but you are the only person who can be his son/daughter.

And you are.

And your stress post inspires me because it reminds me that no matter how fucked up the world is, there are still good people like you in it.