that's from me irl! there's a lot of different ways to interpret "don't be racist, homophobic etc.", while asking "don't be edgy" is much narrower. it is completely wild how much less drama we had in our modmail after we changed the rules
I think you're on the right track! There's not a right or wrong answer here, you have to do what works for you.
It might be helpful to not really consider this one message you want to give them, but two. Message one is "I have a crush on you", and it's the undeniable, emotional one. Message two is "I want to do something with the crush" which is the one that you're still deciding what you want, and really needs their input on what they want. You're not going to decide to get rid of the crush, the rest you can decide not to do even if it will hurt to give up on it.
I think telling them something like, "we've been spending a lot of time together, I've got a full on crush on you, and I think it might be real love" would be a good idea. You're spending a lot of time alone together, you know each other well enough, it's appropriate and good!
All the other complications of distance and sexuality can be worked out after you just say that you have a crush.
If this is partly just because of loneliness, so what? It's still a crush. That's something you can say to them and they'll work it out with you.
Learn to ignore feelings like "they're too good for me". It is 100% up to them who is good enough for them.
My one last piece of advice is to say that you have a crush before you visit them. A situation where they think they're hosting a friend on a visit, and you think you love them, is gonna get both of you hurt.
I think the only forum bans here are jokes. As for sitewide bans, every month or so we have a spammer we have to deal with, and once or twice we had some weirdo come here from raddle or reddit specifically to stir up shit and we nab em.
Left wing conspiracy theorists: here are some uncontroversially validated facts that are mostly boring and hard to understand, about how government agencies foster right wing violence around the world and abuse their own citizens, and there's nothing you can do to stop it
Right wing conspiracy theorists: you were right about everything, and are the hero who will save the world
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devtesla wrote
Reply to i like jstpst's "no irony / reappropriation" rule by twovests
that's from me irl! there's a lot of different ways to interpret "don't be racist, homophobic etc.", while asking "don't be edgy" is much narrower. it is completely wild how much less drama we had in our modmail after we changed the rules