I've had two good haircuts in my entire life

the first was from a filipino nonbinary butch lesbian who was giving haircuts out of her apartment. we were all shirtless because nobody wants hair on them, but i wore a garbage bag in place of a smock. i paid her $25 and helped clean up. they were good haircuts

the second haircut was after i got covid and temporarily lost my mind. i was convinced i had to buzz my head and disguise myself as my own fictional homophobic older brother in order to pick up paxlovid. the good news is that it's hard to fuck up buzzing ones head, but there's not a lot of personality in a shaved head.

so, i would love that first haircut again

but there is no name for that one good haircut i got seven years ago.

i've grown increasingly desparate trying to find haircuts in the area. my hair has grown sloven. i don't feel confident about my appearance

growing up, i would get haircuts from my mom, and then my sister. i am no-contact with my family now, but i am still getting the same haircuts from very similar people. they want to make me look like the way they expect men to look.

the mind can only hold named things, but there is no name for that one good haircut i got seven years ago. i don't know what a "crew cut" or "under cut" is, but every time i leave a salon, it does not feel good that they gave me that.

and so i think, what if i were to cut my own hair? how bad could i mess it up? so, i scour the internet. but there is no name for that one good haircut i got seven years ago.

but the resources for cutting ones hair are also very gendered, and what scant resources there are for nonbinary people have a very 2000s-esque "nonbinary means spicy girl" understanding of it.

and there is no name for that one good haircut i got seven years ago.

... but, chatgpt is something that has unironically helped me find names to things i forgot. audre lorde's poem "Who Said It Was Simple" stuck in my head for years after i heard it, even after the name and the words faded, and it was not until i got a chat fucking gpt account that i was able to find it again

i think of chatgpt is a place for desperate people to go. it's a lonely place for lonely people. it's a place to go when the depth of human knowledge is unavailable to you.

"i asked chatgpt" is equivalent to "i have given up"

and the thing is, asking chatgpt for haircut instructions? fucking hilarious. that's totally outside the realm of what you can expect it to be nearly okay with. asking it "what was the one poem" will work. but there is no reason for it to give good haircut instructions. there is every reason for it to be bad, and i am not going to cut my own hair and i definitely not going to do it by chatgpt's instructions

but i ask anyways:

i need a tutorial for giving myself a haircut as a queer amab enby. give me the "single lesbian 40 year old middle school art teacher" haircut self instructions

and yeah, the chatgpt instructions were bad. there is no punchline.

i won't lie that i had a bit of hope that it might have indexed some now-defunct early trans forum

but it can't find the name to things that have not been named. i even tried image recognition

anyways if chat-gpt were good, it'd stand for "calling hobs allover to gust post things"

tldr: naturally, the chat gpt haircut is not good