this thread is for sexually explicit super mario brothers roleplay. today is a dark day for jstpst.

Submitted by twovests in bad_posts (edited )

rules:

  1. NO INCEST. (mario and luigi are related)

  2. NO YOSHI

  3. NO LUIGI

  4. SEX ACTS MAY ONLY BE IMPLIED THROUGH SLAPSTICK CLOWN HIJINKS

  5. DEATHS WHICH ARE EITHER HEROIC OR JUST ARE PERMANENT

okay. i was typing this on my "apple i phone" and it started deleting number 5 as i typed it. i figure that is because of some garbage funk sitting on the touchscreen but i guffawed at the hilarity

the guffaw was so energetic that the "apple i phone" offered to undo typing

this was hilarious and i would never lie to you.

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Comments

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neku wrote

okay you start.

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twovests OP wrote

im wario and i had a really tough day. i dont want to do anything right now i just wanna sleep if that's ok. nobody takes me seriously and all my friends are relegated to a side series so they can't even come over to this rp thread. im asleep now zzz

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Moonside wrote

Hey, I am Funky Kong. You may remember me from the renowned ASMR parody video.

It's always kind of awkward to be a character in a sexually explicit Nintendo fanfic. Like aren't we ripples from a simpler time when we didn't have to worry about much except for chores, homework and having fun? Yet here we are, being perverts in a hurt/comfort fic.

I am so horny you don't even know it. I have achieved everything in life- bananas, mostly- but there aren't enough female side characters to seduce in either of our fictional universes. Isn't that true? Wario, you've been single for a long time. Is there a Wapeasy or Wadaisy waiting for you somewhere, the romance of a life time? When will you see that the erotic power of money is no match to the gentle caressing of a bitcoin?

Listen. We need to bring excitement to our lives. Let's do tax fraud?

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toasthaste wrote

Hi this is Daisy. Funky Kong you need to stop dancing around it and just tell Wario you want to sleep with him. Just ask if he's DTF already. This is getting embarrassing.

Anyway I'm off to write more filthy SasuNaru fanfic, good luck out there.

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twovests OP wrote

Hey Funky Kong. I'm feeling better now after my 21 hour nap, during which my Bitcoin Mining Pool mined 0 bitcoins. But I was awarded dividends for the last Bitcoin we minted, which gave me a nice 0.00004BTC, so I'm feeling quite sultry.

I'm currently itemizing my deductions and, under the guise of a devout Christian, I am claiming to have donated soooo much money to my church. How much should I tell them?

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cute_spider wrote (edited )

I'm Luigi, and I and hurtling towards you headfirst having hit my 1/16 chance of getting a bonkers side-b smash "green missile"

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toasthaste wrote

you banned tghe single most sexual mario character i hope ur happy. ruining everything

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devtesla wrote

read homestuck once and it infects all you do afterwards

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twovests OP wrote (edited )

wario: the thing is i read it about three times

(ooc: the thing is i read it about three times)

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toasthaste wrote

NO LUIGI????? THEN WHAT'S THE POINT

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toasthaste wrote

calling my lawyers about this. you have made a big mistake you are going to regret this. justice for luigi

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