What kind of agreement do you have with these women? Did they sign a lease? Like what did they do really?

I have no idea if this is an interpersonal issue or a legal one so I can't like, absolve you or give you advice. I do want to say that eviction is a huge step no matter who is involved. Like I get that involving the police with black women is different than with white people but it sucks to be evicted either way!

You do deserve to feel safe in your home and yeah eviction might be in the cards, but evictions are hard to get for a lot of very good reasons. You don't want to rely on that to be safe. Do you have friends that can help? If you don't trust them around your dog, can they take in your dog for a bit? Like there's so many steps before eviction that you may not need to jump through yet.

In any case, good luck!

I'm so sorry to hear that. I was taken advantage of by my ex-roommates as well, and it's not a pleasant experience. They would never do chores, then get upset with me when I asked them to pick up after themselves. They'd treat me like a stranger in my own home, and one even had the gall to ask me to not be at home as much, when I was letting them stay there for free. I had to learn the hard way what a "taker" is, and why they don't deserve my generosity. I relate to a lot of what you're going through.

My rule of thumb is to only involve the police if the situation cannot possibly be made worse by their presence. The only thing I can think of that'd fit that bill would be a life or death situation. It's definitely a dilemma, because you deserve to be comfortable in your own home, but going to the police might result in brutality against your roommates, which would be an even worse crime than what they're putting you through (emphasis on might, since the police are always an unpredictable variable). I would make sure I've exhausted every other option before even considering it. With my ex-roommates, I set up monthly house meetings with them, where we would discuss interpersonal conflicts and issues with the division of household labor, and attempt to settle them peacefully. They didn't get much better, but it helped a little. Maybe if you're close to the end of the lease, you could try to grin and bear it for a few more months, then just not renew the lease with them. It 100% isn't fair to you that you have to put up with this, but sadly with the "justice" system being the way it is, that might just be the least terrible outcome. In an ideal world, you would have a way to settle this issue without putting them in harm's way.

I appreciate the advice, but no, this is a situation where I have to stand up for myself or I’m going to continue getting steam rolled

I went ahead and delivered the formal notice today, which kicks off the process. If they’re not out in two weeks, then I get the law involved and it kicks off a month long process where they have opportunity to appeal and jfc don’t let me start thinking about it or I’ll get upset.

It kills me because they’ve been close friends, but money and proximity is killing that, and this notice feels like a printed started, “We are no longer friends”

But, like, Cowloom is right. I’m a giver, and I want to give to more people and people I’m close to, and more deserving people, and I want to give less so I can keep some more for myself. And they are taking!! They are like a subscription service because I am paying for them to be in my life!!

And I’m just trying to stop feeling guilty for unsubscribing!

I appreciate you devtesla! But yeah cowloom much more accurately describes what I’m going though than I am (for instance I am conflating police with court and while they are deeply tied institutions, police involvement is not really on the table that’s just a high emotional reaction. Also no they would never abduct or hurt Alan under any circumstances, that’s an unfair thing to imply. The chocolate story, for instance, I feel like Alyce and I would have communicated better in previous years. But also given that conversation: yeah it’s time we de-orbit each other)

I'm still not following the story completely but I think that's okay, glad you could vent it off a bit!