Oops, I dropped a "plausibly" there; "but now plausibly seems to be literally the case".

"The assassination was a false flag" was always far-fetched, but still plausible, y'know? Trump tried to stay up for the photo-op right after the bullets hit. Is that because it was planned? He's a pretty renown liar.

"The Secret Service is incompetent" is the most likely explanation, because armed security is all theatre. But this is the same Secret Service which erased all their text messages from January 5th and January 6th 2021. I don't think _that's a coincidence, and I don't trust them either.

And now we see his ear and the claimed "2 cm hole" is nowhere to be found. His ear is just fine. Trump won't release medical paperwork. What gives?

Of all the conspiracy theories out there, this is the most plausible one. But "plausible" is a super generous term for something unlikely. I'd still place 99-to-1 odds that

• The Secret Service was too racist and incompetent to identify the threat,

• Trump was barely grazed by bullets from a real assassination attempt,

• He was too stupid and photoshoot-horny to keep his head down when bullets were flying, and

• Lied about the damage to garner support and foment anger.

... But there's still that 1% chance that new evidence will come out in a year or two, and we'll feel kind of dumb, and conspiracy theorists will rejoice about being right for once for the rest of our lives.

(*edit: i am dropping words left and right babey)