heres what i learned:

• adhd is real, however i dont have it despite being diagnosed. yet at the same time all of the symptoms i have are simply because i am lazy and unwilling to change and have nothing to do with adhd. and the proof for this is that i'm always listening to music and also one time she talked to me about one thing once and i had no recollection of it, therefore i am "not mentally present" and my mind and body are not "in sync" and clearly, i should just want to harder and it would resolve itself
• all trans people are fake, and especially me as i am somehow extra Deluxe Fake (rogd™) and how all of my other problems are somehow attributable to hrt because apparently there's no way someone could be depressed, suicidal, anxious, and inattentive, it must be due to exogenous estradiol
  • and that she isn't trying to change me, she just reeeallly doesn't like it, but that doesn't mean she's not ok with it
  • i also think it's really cool how they keep trying to tie this to being a repressed homosexual. i am literally pan i do not even remotely care what my partner has got down there
• that she concedes that my father did in fact abuse me but that somehow it was still my fault as well because "it takes two" so clearly i must have done something to prompt him to do that, and this is evidently because i was a difficult child and i should've just, yknow, NOT been a difficult child and been normal instead, in which case none of it would have happened
• medications are bad because they mess with your body in unnatural ways, and that "messing with my serotonin and dopamine and sex hormones" is why i will never be happy. and that no one ever did this prior to the 1900s (which, i suspect, is due to the fact that medication just did not exist at all before like 1920, apart from aspirin and morphine. lol. like if you want to go back to treating everything with some fried horse shit, some leaves and heroin then be my guest i guess)
• it all started with The Internet and all those internet cults and the indoctrination and etc. and that i have no friends (touché)
• she's just telling me because she loves me and i don't appreciate her and i don't want to change

i fucking hate my life lol