while i am not consumed with the darkness, the dark parts grow deeper and more painful. i can see the rabbit hole go deeper even if i am not in it. i can feel the void call louder and warmer.

this was building before the election but now "futile" sounds like a word i might use a lot more in the future

i am also considering giving myself an injury to have a sick day excuse, which, sounds insane? and if i'm considering hurting myself... hey! that counts!

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twovests OP wrote on November 12, 2024 at 11:01 PM (edited on November 12, 2024 at 11:02 PM)

#22,385

on a similar note, if someone wants to vivisect and unfurl from my face my sinuses, i would welcome that (sniffles)

twovests OP wrote on November 12, 2024 at 11:03 PM

#22,386

Replying to twovests (#22,385)

good thing the whole "harvesting organs from your political enemies while they are alive" can only happen in china. right. good thing that can't happen in america. not even guantanamo bay right

i am concerned for how bad things can get

twovests OP wrote on November 12, 2024 at 11:09 PM

#22,388

i'm not even doing THAT bad but i do feel like i woke up one day, and they removed the guardrails on the stairs that go up to my apartment on the seventh floor.

hey, the LD50 for flights of stairs is 5. and, hey, does this spiral go to the basement? did we always have that?

cowloom wrote on November 12, 2024 at 11:14 PM

#22,391

needing a mental health day every once in a while: valid

needing mental health days frequently: still valid, but probably a sign to find a therapist

twovests OP wrote on November 13, 2024 at 1:33 AM

#22,399

Replying to cowloom (#22,391)

good point. i AM trying to find one. perhaps that's worth taking a mental health day for...

cute_spider wrote on November 13, 2024 at 4:43 AM

#22,409

Replying to twovests (#22,388)

unless the basement represents masculinity, I think you should brave it and head down