Dear CEO,

I am flab r ghaster, esq, and I have been appointed by a group of activist shareholders to deal with the matter of your failure to allow this mysterious domain registry to post.

In order to resolve this issue, we will need your deposit of 600 danish kronor, sent to us in the form of google play gift cards. This deposit is to pay for a private investigator. If you do not cooperate and refuse to make the deposit, then we will proceed with the evidence we have and disciplinary action may occur, up to and including possible termination from your role with the company.

Please call our tech support representative at once with your decision.

Thank you, and have a blessed day. All things are possible through Christ