So, before I wrote this post, I assumed partyhats were worth a few hundred USD max. (This was true ~2006.) I just learned they're valued thousands USD by raw GP value alone, and up to tens of thousands.

I would absolutely take an NFT (or other stupid asset) for free if I believed I could sell it for money.

Anyways, back to my comment...

Before speaking about NFTs:

I think of a partyhat like an old screenshot from a 2009 desktop, or an ancient phpBB or usenet archive. It's emblematic of a particular part of internet culture. Unfortunately, I was one of those horrible kids who spent a lot of their formative years on things like Runescape.

This is a bit pathetic, but I wanted a partyhat, and if I had one, I wouldn't let it go! [edit: see above, i'd totally let it go.] If I had one, and Runescape was going down, I'd do everything I could to prove to others that my Runescape bank has a partyhat. Screenshots, videos, etc.

Importantly, partyhats were never conceived as a rare collectible item. It was a stupid dinky one-off holiday item. I don't think any of the Gowers conceived their hats would be worth literal hundreds of dollars thousands of dollars. This adds legitimacy in my eyes.

Now, to speak on NFTs: If Runescape died and they were offering a "certificate of partyhat", I'd like that, in whatever form it takes. This is because of my personal flaws and nostalgia. [edit: also because i could sell it to a nerd for money.] This is one use case where an NFT wouldn't be a bad choice. The major benefit would be that you have a silly infrastructure for verifying ownership. (That said, I'd prefer a shiny partyhat plaque instead.)

(Also, Jagex truncates passwords to 20 characters and are not case sensitive. This weakens any ad-hoc cryptographic construction one might imagine using a users password hash as a public key.)

To be clear, I'm not defending NFTs! It's a nearly pointless use case. I'd also use a Juicero if I happened to have one and also somehow got 1000 fresh juicero bags. I'd also use a Juicero box as a footrest.

EDIT: You have found a secret Twovests Bonus Comment!

Clarifying my positions on Christmas, part two

CW: sexual abuse, drug abuse, childhood abuse, dark humor, weaponized therapy, osdd, christmas

when people talk about being "jokerified" they usually talk about becoming disillusioned with reality, NOT about being so traumatized that they lose grasp on what's acceptable to find funny.

my childhood was abusive in all the sorts of ways it can be. physically, emotionally, mentally, drugs kind of, sexually. sometimes the abuse would incidentally be funny, but you can't talk to anyone about that. you can't say "hey, this thing happened which was funny," when the context is too awful to write.

like, i got grounded for being molested! that is kind of funny. someone tell me that ISN'T funny.

but, also, the age i was is a vanishingly small fraction of the age i am now. if someone ELSE told me about a seven year old who got grounded for being molested, i think i would need to physically fight the urge to vomit.

but looking back? it was kind of funny.

so some would say "you should go to therapy about it," and i did.

but the funny thing is that going to therapy made my life worse and had repercussions which pretty negatively impacted a half-dozen people. therapists are police, and their weapons have a blast radius

i think it's pretty funny that i went to therapy for trauma, and that became one of the traumatic events of my life. that's a little funny dammit!

so, without therapy, i turned to drugs. my parents often plied us with huge doses of melatonin, but i would refuse anything else. tylenol, ibuprofen, etc.

in the year 2015 i had coffee for the first time, and it had an excellent antidepressive effect on me. in the year 2017, i tried alcohol, and it had an excellent depressive effect on me. in the year 2019 and 2020, i accidentally had huge doses of weed two times, and it had a silly effect on me.

in 2021, i tried antidepressants for the first time, and even half the minimum dose absolutely fucked me up. i gained 10lbs in like a week, and my synesthesia (more on that later) became a permanent and obtrusive aspect of my life. sounds will, for lack of better description, obscure my ability to see, and vice versa.

in 2022, i tried lsd for the first time, and it didn't really do anything except give me lockjaw and make visual snow more apparent. it temporarily turns the obtrusive elements of my synesthesia into something unescapable. so i do not do lsd anymore

it's at this point i should note i have a lot of brain things that sound cool on a tumblr blog, but are actually quite obtrusive. autism of course, "plurality" too, synesthesia (especially audiovisual), and of course, exploding head syndrome.

plurality is the worst part. i thought i was fine until i started journaling and learned i had memory lapses. oops!! it's really obstructed my ability to be there for the people in my life

but over these years, i found that there was only one constant in my life that was good. posting

the thing is is that, despite all this, i am doing better than anyone i know. i'm not abusing drugs, i'm physically fit, i'm eating well, i'm drinking water, i'm sleeping regularly. my executive function and focus is unparalleled among my peers. i am more level headed than anyone else i know. i am not reliant on any medications or therapists. and i am financially secure, something i never thought i'd be able to say.

i am thriving in a way that makes me feel almost guilty to say. like, i have friends who are 30 years old, believe in ghosts, don't floss, and can't make phone calls. i'm not gonna listen to them when they tell me to try therapy again.

i owe this all to posting. it is the one meditative practice that one must do. posting is just journaling, but you expose your ugly underside to trusted anonymites. like, i was lightly molested two weeks ago during an orgy, and i shrugged it off. i'm just that mentally healthy. (and i think that's kind of funny)

posting is the sacred and daily practie that brings one closer to the ideal state of humanity. posting is not just beautiful, posting is beauty

and the opposite of posting? why... that's christmas