I do think the borderline scorn toward allies, in addition to just like kinda sucking, was a horrible tactical move that set things back pretty badly (and like tbc I was totally on that bandwagon back in the day, I am not immune to social trends).

I think there's been a lot of nuance lost in the sense of like.... "It is not anyone's personal responsibility to praise an ally for being an ally" is true, but that is NOT the same thing as "allies should perpetually be on thin ice and shouldn't get praise for anything short of heroism and if they want to feel good about doing small good things that's proof that deep down they suck actually"

To the extent that anyone "deserves" anything, people deserve praise for doing positive things whether that's doing the dishes or deciding to stick up for marginalized people whose circumstances they might not viscerally understand. We are all just silly little monkeys made of meat and positive feedback has really consistent effects on our little monkey brains! That tiny little tickle of reward for doing the bare minimum makes people want to do the bare minimum more, and makes it easier/more appealing to take bigger steps past that bare minimum!