I can relate a lot to many of the sentiments you expressed in this post. If I'm understanding correctly, you've invested a lot of time and energy and emotion into a relationship with someone who did not reciprocate your feelings, and that relationship ended without closure. I'm also understanding that a lot of your estimation of your own self worth hinged on the things this person would say and do.

I see you, and I promise that you're not worthless, not unsalvagable, not repulsive. You are a person and you have inherent value. I appreciate seeing your posts! even if I don't know you any beyond that!