(cw: sadposting) things nobody tells u about being sad

Submitted by twovests in just_post

this doesnt describe a recent bout of sadness, just a cumulation of things

  1. people DO cry themselves to sleep! it's not an exaggeration! and it's horrible! you can lay on a bed exhausting yourself sobbing until you're too tired to move, but you need to, because your pillow probably became disgusting and wet from mucus and tears

  2. you can be so lonely (or sad etc) that it's painful. the literal same thing as physical pain! that's not an exagggeration either! you can get hit with spasms of pain that are debilitating. toe-curling, wincing, shuddering, pain! and there's no wound to tend to and no tangible evidence. tbh it wasn't until i had improperly-anaesthesized (sp) minor surgery that i had physical pain that could compare. i think emotional and mental pain literally use the same nerves

  3. it's super lonely because you can't tell people "i'm in pain." it sounds like someone "just wants attention", which is true, but? it feels like evopsych shit almost. like you realize that you need other people, and there's probably an evolutionary advantage to saying "i'm in a lot of pain and i can't manage it myself anymore."

again, these aren't a bunch of things i an experiencing right now, just a few revelations i had over a timespan. emotional anguish do be inexpressible sometimes and alien to the inexperienced

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devtesla wrote

you can be so lonely (or sad etc) that it's painful. the literal same thing as physical pain!

yeah they're definitely the same thing, when I was Going Through It (TM) I took acetaminophen every few hours and it helped. big part of why painkillers get abused is for emotional pain.

you can't tell people "i'm in pain." it sounds like someone "just wants attention"

having people in your life that you can talk about shit with is like the most important thing. and like it can't just be one person. like yeah you can't just tell anyone that you're pain but you need people you really can do that with

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oolong wrote

re physical pain, there's the stat about being more likely to get a heart attack after the death of a loved one. the heart literally and metaphorically hurts

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toasthaste wrote

I have been extremely going through it this year and can confirm, yea. Will say, learning to be able to tell people when I'm in pain and to lean on them for support-- and nurturing relationships I can do that in-- has been extremely loadbearing.

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