The original Scooby Doo was born in response to protests by parent-advocacy groups about excessive violence in cartoons.

Taking the DNA of Archie and the direction from concerned parents, the Mystery Crew was born. They had to ride a fine-line of making an engaging and fun show where the characters find themselves in dangerous situations.

Like, the Mystery Crew are inserting themselves into situations of organized crime so intense and fucked up, both they and the viewers are convinced of supernatural involvement until the end of the episode.

So here's my proposal for the edgy reboot:

First, Shaggy is dead. This provides the setting for the film and is instantly engaging. The idea is this: The Mystery Crew's luck runs out during an investigation, and they lose one of their own. The death of a character as the premise for the film grounds the film in reality and sets the tone. It's something that needs to be handled carefully and thoughtfully.

Why Shaggy? Any of the characters would do for this, but Shaggy is the natural choice. First, he's the meme character, and we're not doing that shit. Second, there's always fake-ghosts in Scooby Doo, and who else would you wanna see imitated as a ghost? Third, the main character is an easy choice, and it's either him or Scoob, and we don't want the dog to die. Fourth, he's easily the least interesting of the characters, and unlike the rest of the ensemble, he has the least affordance for being re-characterized. (Think: Daphne went from damsel to karate master, Fred went from prep to detective, and Velma has always been perfect but also she is bi now. But what can you do with Shaggy? Nothing.)

Scoob must never die. On that note, it gives a reason for the team to be extra protective of Scoob throughout the events of the film, providing a kind of realistic plot armor. (It's an edgy reboot but, come on, the dog can't die!)

Second, they've stopped doing investigations. This is a coming-of-age film about this shattered group of teens dealing with trauma and coming to terms with the fact their their own irresponsible actions killed one of their own, and that it could have easily been any one of them.

Third, they're still in Coolsville. While an edgy remake grounded in reality, levity and humor is a necessity. The film needs an ability to deconstruct previous iterations of Scooby Doo, and to be self-aware and acknowledge silly aspects of the plot. Placing the film in Coolsville serves this purpose.

Also, Coolsville is, like many cartoon locations of the late 1900s, a place that is contains or is adjacent to every type of setting you could need. Suburbs and cities and manors and mansions and mountains and oceans and plateaus and farms and laboratories and universities and highschools and bogs and airplanes and military complexes and snack factories and what the fuck Scooby Doo also has a mansion? Coolsville has it all.

Fourth, of course there has to be a mystery. With the group fallen apart, and with this being a Scooby Doo film, there has to be a mystery to bring them together. Something that affects all their lives. TBH, this is the hardest part and I have no ideas for what could be a satisfying mystery. I've done enough work, you make something up!

Fifth, the characters. This is what I imagine the team to be, roughly. First, as part of a rejection of the initial incarnation of the film, everyone is some form of LGBT and nobody is white (except Fred, see below), and form found-family for one another.

• Velma: A studious woman who saw books and intellect as her way out of poverty. Her story is a bit tragic, as she was kicked out of her family when they learned she was dating a woman. She found (literal and metaphorical) home with the Mystery Crew. She (a bi woman) had been staying with Shaggy (a gay man, beards for one another) until his death.

  • Casting: Velma has arguably had the most diverse portrayals of all the characters, most notably Hayley Kiyoko, who is a biracial woman and a lesbian, who herself feared rejection from her family if she came out. I can't imagine a better fit for this portrayal of Velma.

• Daphne: When thinking of who I imagine Daphne to be, I think of 'Peach' from You and 'Tahani' from The Good Place. A funny and kind-hearted character, but ridiculously privileged and out-of-touch. Growing up in a very stifling and conservative family, she had repressed her attraction for women until she met Velma (an openly bisexual woman, who was kicked out from her family) and learned that gay people actually do exist? Being estranged from her family is an existential fear, given the financial support they give her (and through her, the Mystery Crew.) Jameela Jamil, while likely straight, would be perfect for this role because she is and has played the role of an insufferably privileged but caring woman.

• Fred: I don't know what to do with Fred. I kind of wanted him to be a middle class and cis character, and the only straight or white of the gang. A preppy boy, completely and one-dimensionally focused on pursuing mysteries, and unaware of social issues. He provides something of a "straight man" mechanism, no pun intended, to further explore how the trauma and the mystery of the film impacts the team. But I struggle with this since I also imagine Fred as a trans man who's life was touched by both organized crime and police negligence, viewing the Mystery Crew as the only way to have agency to deal with things. Initially insecure and dysphoric, he found new confidence in the affirming atmosphere of the Mystery Crew. His backstory is that he was taken under Daphne's wing in highschool, and she was exuberant for the "project" of helping this insecure kid dress and express as he sees fit.

• Shaggy: Like Daphne, he came from wealth (but not as much). You can already see his character: A stoner kid who grew up under liberal parents and who didn't have to worry too much for wealth. I want this incarnation of him to be goofy and generous, and I want the audience to somehow feel the emptiness of his missing presence throughout the movie.

• Scooby Doo: This character is also tough. Should Scoob be realistic, just pushing the limits of canine intelligence? Or should he retain the talking-dog superpowers he had prior? Should he be a character hidden from science, for fear they'll take him away, like ET? An idea I had is that Scoob, being an evidently smart and curious dog, should still "speak" in typical dog noises, which the Mystery Crew interpret as speech. It is left unclear to the audience if Scoob is really speaking to them, or if he's just a smart dog and they're interpreting their own intuition through him.

King of the Hill / JerryTerry combined universe: Look, I'm not going to lay all my cards on the table. Let's just say that I imagine "The Boys" in JerryTerry's "The Boys Are Back In Town (To Kill You)" are the main characters of King of the Hill, who are met with an eldritch fate and disappear (before reappearing in "Kiss Me (Kill Me)".

Now, recall, how does "Shaggy and Scooby-Doo Get a Clue" start? Shaggy's uncle, Uncle Shaggleford, disappears. Shaggleford? Do you mean... Rusty Shackleford? The alter-ego of Dale from King of the Hill?

This practically writes itself.

If you think I'm joking, fine!! I'll take my ideas elsewhere!!

Finally, the plot structure: A typical episode of Scooby Doo involves the gang's car breaking down infront of a spooky setting, they split up to explore it, uncover crimes, and come together to unmask the specter, who finishes it with "And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

I want this in reverse: The gang had uncovered a mystery but at great personal cost, and then had split up at the start. I guess this means the rest of the film involves... Fixing a car and then driving in reverse somewhere?

It's really tough to imagine a mystery, important enough and encompassing enough to get the Mystery Crew back together, while also being something that law enforcement doesn't get involved in, while also grounded in realit-

oh shit i have it

The plot involves a CIA experiment: Come on, think about all the fucked-up CIA experiments you've heard about. The Gateway, MK-Ultra, etc. And those are just the ones that have been revealed! The CIA having some fucked-up experiment go-awry, unleashing the latest in Fucked Up Technology on a town, just makes sense. Okay. I'm gonna come up with some more ideas and then post a part 2, don't u worrey