So yeah. It was a small one. The kind of that you have to remain at home for a little while and can't exercise for a while, but otherwise you're pretty ok. You just get tired easily, have to take some ibuprofen every now and then and drink plenty of fluids. Yeah, fluids.

Honestly fluids saved me and I only figured it out now. So you're sick and your muscles hurt and your head is full of snot. After you've done the toilet thing (victory dance) you down a pint of water. So good. You have some cereal for breakfast with milk. Yeah, fluids baby. And then you brew some tea, so nice. Then after a little while thing start moving. The viscosity of your mucus starts to decrease and a ball of mucus sludge dislodges itself. Phhthm you excrete it out and bam you feel better. Drink another cup to celebrate.

Fluids? What are fluids. Fluids come in many forms. How many can you name? I can recommend the following, but remember the wider variety you drink, the easier it is to consume ungodly amounts of them!

Water. This is also known as the urfluid after the ancient town of Ur in modern day Yugoslavia where the populace to this day maintain their traditional habit of drinking water.
Tea and coffee. These are twin brothers, that in addition to lubrication, provide one with subtle psychotropic capabilities such as mind control over your own willpower. Brewing them extra strong has unforeseen consequences, however.
Milk. Most milk we drink is, contrary to one might expect, bovine juice.
Juice and juice sludge. Juice comes in many forms. If you got a bout of flu, I recommend pear juice as it feel softer and less acidic and just as refreshing. Juice sludge is anything that's viscous than the usual stuff. Add granola or don't, I'm not your mom!
Beer. When you're sick, you need calories to maintain the inner harmony of your fluid sacs against disruptions. But you also miss bread! Bread is delicious, fermented, grainy, earthy! But when sick, it's all but! It's bland and heavenly! Yuck! You can still ingest fermented grain juice easily through the magic of liquid bread known as beer. Yummy! I know that this is a controversial choice in the liquid fandom, but fear not. 9/10 doctors recommend beer while sick or operating heavy machinery.

Fluids. It's just what the doctor ordered^TM !

Comments

toasthaste wrote on March 18, 2018 at 11:01 PM

#3,064

zoup

outwrangle wrote on March 18, 2018 at 11:22 PM

#3,067

Salty, fatty broth! Not only does it help replace fluids, but the hot salt water breaks down mucus and the fats coat your throat to protect it. It's also light, but still contains nutrients, so if you're too queasy it's easy on the stomach and digestive system.

twovests wrote on March 19, 2018 at 12:51 AM

#3,069

loving this post. gonna mix them all together and drink the sludge

Moonside OP wrote on March 19, 2018 at 12:51 AM

#3,070

Replying to outwrangle (#3,067)

Ah! So is this why chicken soup is a sickness staple? Interesting. I think I'll buy some Tom yum paste and check what kind of broth it produces for future since I like the taste and it's both salty and fatty and I can get it in neat little bags that will survive the coming nuclear war.

Moonside OP wrote on March 19, 2018 at 1:03 AM

#3,073

Replying to twovests (#3,069)

After you mixed it all together in a pitcher, garnish it with a dash of mineral oil. It will make your joints silent again.

twovests wrote on March 19, 2018 at 12:54 PM

#3,085

Replying to Moonside (#3,073)

i actually attached speakers to my joints so when they move it makes a deep rumbling sound