yeah i would say that "miserable to jsut bad" is a good enough descriptor of how venlafaxine has worked for me. most days i dont feel much of anything. on tuesday i forgot to take my pills in the morning and got a bad grade on an assignment in the evening and i was genuinely planning my own suicide. and even that was after taking them at like 5 pm (when usually i take em around 8 am). feeling that miserable reminded me of how i used to be before i was settled on my medication. when life feels bad all the time it's hard to remember that five years ago life felt so much worse.

idk what your Antidepressant Journey has been like but i tried three or four different pills over a couple of years before settling on venlafaxine. sometimes i feel like what little i've accomplished in my life so far is only thanks to that drug. it might just be that the pills you're on right now aren't right for you. if that's the case then i would do my best to try something else b/c clearly the regimen youre on right now isn't working. but if not, well... treatment-resistant depression is a real thing.

when doctors and psychiatrists are so shit, it's hard to know if the problem is the drugs or the lack of care you're being given. therapy helps as a rule but that's cold comfort for people that therapy doesn't help. i'm navelgazing a little bit too much in this post so i guess my main point is like... every person is different and there are a million different types of antidepressant drugs out there that affects every person differently. i dont think it helps you if you discount them as a whole. there's no point in taking drugs that dont work for you, so try different ones if you can, and hopefully, you can settle on something that does make a difference in your life. and, you know, maybe these drugs cant make you happy, but i'm sure there's one out there that can improve your mood enough that you can start making changes that will make you more content. i've never had a day that i would call better than like, 6/10 on the happiness scale, but like, i've been able to do stuff that i care about that i probably never would have been able to without medication. i've accepted that i'll probably always be thinking up creative new ways to kill myself, but in the meantime, i'm putting effort toward building a life with purpose. idk