this sucks, like a lot. but i don't think this is a problem solely with discord? no matter where you run a community as a moderator you're going to have to make decisions surrounding transness and transphobia, and these moderators chose a path of transphobia.

i do think discord sucks in a lot of ways but it's currently the most user-friendly option out there sadly for managing a chat-based community. you can argue all day that irc is better but it lacks a lot of features and is really intimidating to a lot of people who aren't so tech literate.

the fact that it's used for centralizing information though IS BAD. make a dang wiki or something lol.