having for much of the day been shown by my mind, unbidden, the visions of my tortured past, a great weariness has befallen me. would that i could find respite on my soft bed, yet i am here shackled to my desk--tasked with ostensibly bringing wealth to a cadre of faceless investors. i know not what twisted soul would create such a cruel set of circumstances for another. i sit locked into a fate for which i feel i have little control.