I feel like I'm going through a hypomanic episode. It doesn't scare me as it isn't my first ride and I know some things to avoid (sleep debt, stimulants, new commitments). This time I am more anxious and X than usual and I don't even get that jolt of unsustainable activity, focus and creativity that I usually do, as ephemeral as they are and no matter how many chars from formerly hot projects they leave behind.

I informally study Swedish and French on my own, mostly through reading, and this week I have been able to remain on task for about all five of minutes. The books are plenty enjoyable but it's like subconscious mentalese is so much more fluent that I keep returning to the past and forwarding to the future twice on each page. I almost feel like I ought to put some googly eyes on a trash can and spill all out to it until it dies of boredom and I can get back to business.