Things are even weirder on the PS4 and PS5 where the options button kinda works like "start" but the share button is an entirely different kind of thing, and the "select" button is basically the big touchpad in the middle that doesn't need to be a touchpad.

Pretty much every game uses these buttons in slightly different ways. Big budget games generally map them to "open menu" and "bring up the map" which is why the xbox and valve controllers are the way they are, but I've seen them used for everything from saving to resetting to gestures, basically anything that doesn't need to be pressed quickly.

Ultimately I think Nintendo going with symbols that don't really mean anything is the right call, but they are still start and select in my head because I'm old.